The good in good-bye.

Do you know that feeling when your alarm goes off in the morning, and you’re all warm under your plushy blanket? But then your voice of reason keeps reminding you that you have to get up and go to work, or whatever it is, but you know that when you rip your blankets off, life is going to be really shitty for a few minutes?

That’s kind of what it’s like when you have to tell an important person in your life good-bye. Despite how comfortable and happy you are with someone, sometimes voice of reason tells you that this isn’t working anymore. And even though the idea of ending a relationship can be cold and scary, sometimes it just has to be done.

The reason why I started this business is because l strive to capture that warm fuzzy feelings that we experience in our relationships. Whether it’s with our spouse, friends, or family, I strive to translate that emotion into imagery. Over the past few months I have been the photographer for so many amazing love stories, and I’ve worked so hard to get to this peak in my business.

But recently, my life turned upside down.

My relationship of almost 4 years has ended because he doesn’t love me anymore.

One of my best friends decided that her secret relationship with my boyfriend was more important than ours.

And now I’m left with this question: how in the heck I am supposed to capture beautiful love stories, and blog about them, when my own perception of love has become so deluded?

This experience has given me a lot of lessons. One coincidently being that failure in itself is a lesson. Whenever you decide to put yourself out there, your heart technically is at risk. But the thing is, we keep doing it. We put ourselves out there, we meet new people, we date, all because it’s worth it.

I’ve learned that rejection is redirection. Ultimately, we’re just looking for someone who compliments us right? We’re all just looking for a partner to encourage us as we grow. If your significant other found someone else that compliments them more, then it makes sense to just let them be happy. This just means that there is someone out there for you that’s an even better fit.

People who cheat on you is a complete reflection of their issues. As much as I could sit here and think of all of the reasons why Jon decided he didn’t love me anymore, I realize this has nothing to do with me. And I’m not in any place to speak for Jon, or the decision that he made.

But to answer my own question, how am I supposed to move forward: I know that I still love love. I know, that the reason I started this business, my why, will always be inside of me. But right now, my metaphorical covers have been ripped off, and I’m cold. Frozen, actually. I’m still waiting for my metaphorical heater to warm up in my metaphorical car.

So, for those of you who are still waiting for an email for me, a response, or anything, thank you so much for being so patient! I really appreciate all of the friends that I’ve made, and I’m truly grateful for all of you. 💛 I really hope that these words helped someone, or encourages someone else who is going through something similar!

Julia & Damian— Auburn Courthouse elopement.

Julia’s father poured some bubbly champagne into the newlywed’s glasses. “I haven’t had as much time as I was expecting to prepare this speech..” her dad began, as everyone stopped eating to listen. “But I have had the pleasure of watching you grow up for a lifetime” Julia already knew that she was probably going to cry, so she quickly grabbed the box of tissues. “And to make this short… Julia, you are my best friend” Julia immediately started gushing with tears. Her father continued to talk about Damian’s family, and how they did such a great job in raising him. “This is what weddings are truly about. They’re about two families becoming one.”

That right there really punched me in the feels. Weddings really aren’t about the dresses, the flowers, or the pretty pictures. They are simply about joining together two families— three actually. Because marriage is about the beginning of your own family.

That is what weddings truly are about.

Julia’s wedding was stripped down to the core of the most important things. Her details resembled the line in her family getting married. She stayed true to herself by having simple flowers that resembled her personality and not her class. She wore boots that she knew she would be excited to wear all the time.

But most importantly, Julia and Damian brought both their families together and became one. And that’s how it should be.

I am so excited for these two, and I can not wait to see what’s next for them!

Julia & Javier: java chip latte kind of love.

Javier had a sparkle in his eye when I asked him how he met Julia. “When I first saw her, I was walking by, and I had to stop. I went back. I asked, Who is SHE?”

Javier met Julia on a construction sight job where she works. Julia said that she vividly remembers Javier’s obnoxious flattery when they first met. Knowing that Julia was special, he kept asking her out, and wanted to get to know her more. But, it was Julia’s love of horses that granted Javier to gallop into her heart.

My favorite part about this story is that love can show up at the most unexpected places. For me, it was in front of a big lots while wearing my Ampm uniform. For them, their chemistry and passion for each other is as steamy as a Java chip latte.

THE REDMOND FAMILY— freezing moments in Coloma.

This weekend I had a chance to hang out with my family, and I found myself reflecting on the concept of time more than ever before. I’ve become painfully aware of how fast time is going in my life, and I’m trying to do my best to cherish each minute I have with the people that I love. But even minutes feel exhausting. When you think about it, when children are at a really young age it’s different than it is when they’re 18. They’re obviously a completely different person at that point! So, in a sense, 18 years is really only ten years of being with that person. I wish time would SLOW DOWN, you know?

But luckily for me, I have a superpower— I have the ability to freeze time. Haley and Caleb’s season has just begun with their sweet toddler crew, and their newest addition to the family, Wilder. Sometimes it feels like the minutes and days last FOREVER when you’re a new parent, but the weeks and months are FLYING by. I was so excited when Haley reached out to me about doing their family photos because she wanted to freeze time while Wilder is still in his “first season” of life. Haley said that her kids really give her purpose in life; they make her look at the world differently.

Haley and Caleb just got engaged. Caleb took her on a fun day out in the forest off-roading. Caleb had the perfect spot picked out to propose to her, but she got tired earlier than he expected and wanted to turn around. But Caleb didn’t give up. He proposed to her right then, not wanting to waste another second. This just goes to show that this family values time so much, and they don’t want to see another second slip away.

Haley and Caleb, thank you so much for trusting me to photograph your family’s season in life! It was such an honor freezing time for you guys, and I hope you love your images as much as I do!

Location: Coloma at North Beach

Danny Oliver foundation: disturbance in the force.

In the span of a single moment, a hero can be brought down— leaving a heavy flood of pain for his or her family and loved ones.

In a single moment, it feels like the villains in the world can win—and sometimes, it feels that the world moves on too easily, despite how heavy it really is.

But this doesn’t have to be true.

“It’s not how these officers died that made them heroes— it is how they lived”

On Friday, October 24th, 2014, our community lost a hero named Danny Oliver. Oliver was a deputy sheriff who was shot while investigating a suspicious vehicle in the Arden area. One of the subjects was arrested on sight, while the other was arrested several hours later after barricading himself inside a nearby home.

The life of Oliver has lived on all because of his wife and his two amazing daughters. This family created a foundation specifically to bridge the gap in our community and the grief of lost law enforcement families.

The Danny Olivier foundation proudly creates free events to bring the community together, and remind everyone of our lost heroes. They do raise money for scholarships specifically for students that emulate the characteristics of Danny Oliver, and other lost law enforcement that our community is looked up to and respects.

The latest event showcased, “lightsaber training” with Ray from StarWars. She began pleading that every Jedi in training must use the teachings for self-defense and knowledge only. After she taught the young Jedi masters some great moves, there was a disturbance in the force, as Darth Vader made an appearance. Every young Jedi got the chance to fight him off using their sweet new light saber training.

I love this so much because it is so relevant as our sherrif’s and CHP get more involved in training and education. Hopefully, with more support, we can prevent any more heroes from falling. I feel like I should add that even with all of the training in the world, it will never be these heroes’ fault.

A special shoutout to frontlinefirst.org, www.star6.org, fairytale town, and the CHP for showing their support!

If you want more information about this foundation, and want to get involved please check out https://dannyoliverfoundation.org/ for information!